


Wolf at the door

by Raisedyoulikeaphoenix



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Freedom in death, Hallucinations, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Suicide, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:38:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raisedyoulikeaphoenix/pseuds/Raisedyoulikeaphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lucifer appears to be <i>back</i> with Sam Winchester this time he questions why the fallen angel is so obsessed with him. Even Lucifer who once wanted to torture Sam, wants back into his life..and he'll prove it, and Sam begins to believe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam stood at the kitchen sink guzzling his third cup of water, he hastily downs four sleeping pills; he lost count hours ago on how many he had consumed. He stares at the microwave clock it read _3:56 am_ he closes his eyes knowing when he does _Lucifer_ will appear without question, he wished somehow the fallen angel would go back.

 _Back to where? The pit?_ And Sam wonders why he even feels remorse for him, after months of therapy and ruthless instruction from Dean and Castiel, _Sam feels okay_. 

That's what he tells himself, and after escaping from the pit, he thought his life could be _almost normal_.

Lucifer _really_ had escaped the pit and Michael was still there, after Castiel heard it from 'angel radio' he once feared Lucifer would come torture him and drive him to madness.

Instead Lucifer was more or less of a headache to Sam, he appeared often keeping the Winchester up all night trying to talk to him he even followed him sometimes on hunting trips offering advice.

Not that he was telling Dean or Castiel for that matter, he just was on edge waiting for when Lucifer was going to strike back bent on revenge.

Dean and Castiel had left Sam in the bunker while they were in Michigan hunting down a shapeshifter who was creating chaos and killing innocent people mercilessly. Cas believed it would be perhaps _mediating_ for the younger Winchester to be away from the hunting, monsters and most of all _guns_.

Dean was terrified that his brother would blow his brains out, something that Sam had debated long ago but now he knew could push Lucifer away with enough force.

 _Yeah right_ , Castiel just wanted a few days alone with Dean so they could eat each other's faces without feeling awkward in front of Sam; who had always known how the two felt for each other, but neither would admit to Sam they were dating.

 _Not until Sam's mental health was in check_.

"Good morning Sammy, sorry about this." Lucifer said appearing at his side in the dimly lit kitchen, he cursed under his breath watching Lucifer follow him towards his room, he wasn't going to be a _vessel_ for any angel.

No frigging way.

"Sorry for what? Making me insane enough? That I couldn't even help my brother on a hunting trip?" Sam shouted at him; Lucifer's eyes seem to become enlarged with pity, Sam seen for a moment was it _concern? Or sorrow?_.

No, it was simply his mind screwing up again..he wish the sleeping pills actually _worked_. Instead he pulled the covers over his head, knowing if he avoided Lucifer enough he would leave Sam alone for a couple hours at least until lunch.

Not this time.

Lucifer sits on a chair next to Sam's bed, his blue eyes look at him and Sam (would never tell anyone) but it was sorta nice having someone to watch over him, he pulls the blanket away from his face, sleep seemed to be forgotten for now.

Lucifer held in his hand the sleeping pill bottle, and a bottle of sugar pills that looked remarkably similar to the _very same pills_ Sam had been putting away like they were candy.

"Like I said, Sammy I couldn't have you die because of an drug overdose, so after you began inhaling these". Lucifer shook the sleeping pills watching Sam scowl at him in frustration. "I thought can't have Dean find his only brother- my mistake _only alive_ brother dead after he gets back." 

Sam felt his mouth hang open then he snapped it closed again, no wonder the pills hadn't worked, but if they had he would be _dead_.

Death wouldn't be so bad, considering he would see his mother in the afterlife, Jess and Bobby. A wave of shame invaded him, he couldn't do that to Dean or Castiel...he wondered of he should thank Lucifer or remain indifferent towards the angel.

"No need to take me Sam, but that would be-..." Lucifer trailed off tossing the pill bottles into a wastebasket, Sam didn't bother protesting he could always get new pills....

"Why are you even here? You're _Lucifer_ don't you have some Devil worshipping seminar to frigging attend?" Sam hissed at him, watching his dazzling smile appear; after being a vessel for the angel the two knew all their secrets and regrets.

Lucifer sighed, rolling his eyes in the back of his head. "Sammy I'd rather be here with you, it's much more entertaining, and the pit doesn't have cable and Michael is _such_ a drama queen. All he does is go on and on about how horrible of a brother I am and how much I disgust him."

Sam raised his eyebrows as he sat up in bed, he knew the feeling when Dean discovered his and Ruby's blood drinking, or when Sam didn't have a soul and nearly let Dean become a vampire. _Was he emphasizing with Lucifer?_

Impossible.

"Admit it little Sammy you and I aren't so different, absent fathers, brothers that think they're better than _you_. And each time we think we're doing the right thing...Bam! You get pushed away and rejected." Lucifer clapped his hands together in a gesture to Sam, he found himself believing the angel.

"I guess you're right." Sam said in a small voice and was taken back that Lucifer had even heard him at all.

"Look at that, we are talking! Sammy that's progress." Lucifer exclaimed, watching Sam yawn.

He was tired, but now it was almost four am there was no possible way he was going to sleep now, he kicked the forgotten covers away and flinched at the coldness of the floor. Dean usually turned the heater on, made breakfast and Castiel after one experiment almost caught the kitchen on fire.

Sam moved his way towards the kitchen, he switched on the coffee maker, as Lucifer silently watched him commenting every so often.

"I'm sorry you didn't sleep well Sammy..but believe it or not I _do care_ about you and you were once my _vessel_ and I'm not that bad. Just let me prove it to you." Lucifer handed him the coffee mug that was his favourite he was surprised that Lucifer even knew, he pushed the thought away as he poured himself coffee.

Lucifer meanwhile was helping self in the fridge, Sam huffed as he saw the angel carrying out a carton of eggs, milk, a few vegetables, and a few other things Sam couldn't make out.

"What are you doing?" Sam folded his arms against his chest, debating if Lucifer was plotting some scheme. "I'm sure humans much like yourself eat breakfast...am I right?" Lucifer sat the contents on the counter and found a frying pan and a mixing bowl.

Sam was baffled, but he watched in amazement how Lucifer's skilled hands were cracking at least four eggs into a bowl handing cheese, milk, vegetables, he sat at the kitchen table watching him assuring that he wasn't going to be poisoned.

Sam's stomach growled at the smell of the eggs being cooked, he couldn't actually remember the last time he had ate. Two days ago? Last night? Or Thursday? Sam still didn't understand what was going on.

Lucifer wasn't a _good_ guy, while inside of Sam he had proven that killing Bobby, Castiel and almost killing Dean in the process, he remembered each thing Lucifer had made his body do, but now he was in his original vessel and he didn't seem bent on revenge.

 _Maybe he's changed?_ A small voice in the back of Sam's mind spoke, he shivered without realising it the freshly prepared omelet was in front of him along with toast and juice.

Lucifer stood back wiping his hands on a towel, he smiled shyly at Sam, without saying a word he went back into the kitchen and Sam could hear the rustling of dishes as he cleaned.

"Thank you." Sam said quietly, he took a bite and had to stop himself from combusting, _he had never ate something this good_.

"You're welcome Sammy." Lucifer appeared by his side holding onto a mug of coffee in his hands.

Sam usually hated being called _Sammy_ , except when Dean said it...but he didn't object each time he heard it being said, in Lucifer's mouth it sounded friendly almost.

"Sorry about you bring stuck home alone, I'm sure Castiel and Dean are doing fine...and you needed a break from all of _that_." Lucifer placed his hand on top of Sam's he was remarkably cold, still after the heater had been turned on.

Sam finished his food, standing up to clean his plate he was stopped by him, who took the plate swiftly away from him, he smiled as he walked back into the kitchen.

Sam feeling helpless walked back into his bedroom, he changed into a flannel shirt, jeans and laced on his shoes..skipping a shower in order to avoid an angel from appearing while you were naked, was the best choice.

He appeared in the kitchen again watching Lucifer put away the dishes, Sam felt less on edge as he observed him, was it possible Lucifer _had truly changed?_ Or was it all a plot to trick Sam again.

Deep in his thoughts Sam decided to call Dean, to check in making sure he hadn't died (not that Dean had a chance of dying but for Sam's case) he dialed the number only to get his voicemail, he glanced at the clock realizing it was only barely five am.

He put his phone away, as he heard footsteps from behind him, Lucifer was in front of him as soon as he blinked.

Lucifer's clear blue eyes burned into his and Sam understood how much pain the fallen angel had been in; being rejected from his family, being alone for who knows how long, and loneliness seemed to be the key word in Sam's mind.

Lucifer placed a hand around Sam's face caressing him, he felt himself tingle from each touch.

 _Should he stop?_ His mind wasn't rejecting the idea, no alarms were going off in his mind that _it was wrong_.

Lucifer kissed him softly, trying to put as much affection into the brief contact as he could, Sam felt his lips moving against Lucifer's nothing was wrong with the picture, no one was telling him it was wrong.

Sam broke the kiss, he heard Lucifer chuckle as he looked blushing like a schoolgirl.

Sam felt as if nothing mattered, he didn't care that Lucifer was with him or even in every waking moment, Dean never said anything about what Lucifer (anything good) was capable of, Sam watched as he pushed a stray hair away from his face.

Sam shook his head, he broke away from Lucifer as he clenched his fists the fallen angel knew.

 _It was too soon,_ as the younger Winchester turned around Lucifer was no where in sight. In his frustration he retreated to his laptop, awaiting Dean and Castiel's phone call.

Without a car Sam had no where to go to, but he did have a phone and he believed Charlie was in the area for some sort of comic con or Larping? Was that what is was called.

Sam rubbed his forehead as he dialled Charlie's phone number, he could ask for advice...Charlie was good at that sort of thing.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was at a loss, Charlie's phone had gone to voicemail and Dean had called in to check on Sam. 

"You sure everything is alright? Because this case is going to take a bit- Cas no damn it I said to tie the damn thing to the-." Dean grunted against the phone, Sam feeling unweary listened to Cas protest.

"Look Dean _I'm fine,_ take as long as you want..I'll be here when you get home." Sam watched Lucifer who sat across for him looking almost helpless.

Dean sighed on the other end of the phone; "you're just _fine_ , what about frigging Lucifer appearing randomly?" 

Sam bit down on his lip unsure how he could explain to Dean how he had been _kissed_ by the fallen angel. It was a nightmare, "He hasn't appeared in a few days." Sam lied easily, he could almost picture Dean's cautious face on the other side.

"Sam, if you're not okay then tell me, God damn it." Dean moved his mouth away from the phone. "Listen Sammy I have to go the shapeshifter is on the prowl again we-."

"You have to save the day again, I'll see you in a few days." Sam hung the phone up adeptly. 

Sam sat at the table unsure to move or not, he could feel Lucifer's eyes burning into his own, "why are you doing this?" 

Lucifer looked up from the object he was holding onto, a _remaining gun_ that Dean had left behind, "because Sammy I know you're in pain...you can end it." He pushed the gun forward not taking his eyes off of Sam.

Sam fought back tears, he clenched his fist wishing the old scar wound would work, or as Lucifer said it was _the old hand trick_. "Sammy, you know eventually you're going to die, but by what cause?" Lucifer's hand reached out grabbing Sam's delicate wrist rubbing it gently.

Sam thought about it for a moment; he could picture himself out hunting some monster one day and as he did he pictured the creature attacking him ending his life, he felt Lucifer's grip loosen, he could end it all, but what about Dean? How would Castiel be able to handle Dean's behaviour?

"You'd be free at last from all the insanity We both know you've been thinking about ending it for years now, why else would you not be able to be alone with a gun while dear old Dean and Cas take off for a few weeks? There would be no more hunting no more saving the world. Just silence, and Sammy we could spend the afterlife together, you've done so much for this earth, in your time." Lucifer spoke softy as Sam closed his eyes Lucifer appeared next to him. 

"Dean what about Dean? And Castiel?" Sam's voice quivered, Lucifer knew deeply inside Sam all he ever wanted _was a way out_ , he couldn't bring himself to tell Dean he wanted to quit, every time he did Dean dragged him back in no matter the cost.

"Dean will be fine, in time he'll understand." Lucifer's tone was emptied of any emotion.

Sam had lost so much in life, Jessica, Amelia, his parents, Adam. He had become a freak in the long run drinking demon blood with Ruby, losing his soul and all the lies and betray that destroyed the Winchester's trust over and over again. For one thing, he had started the apocalypse, and _all to save the day_ , he had been dead, alive and to Hell. "That's all, and it's done?" Sam questioned the fallen angel who's eyes seemed sincere and far away.

"Sammy, I'm here waiting for you." Lucifer sounded distant and Sam knew it was a simple matter of loading the gun.

"Why, is it so hard?" Sam questioned Lucifer watching the angel press his lips against Sam's.

"I promise you Sammy, I love you and it's only hard because you're thinking of _everyone else_ , instead of _yourself._ " 

"You're in pain, physically emotionally and a human mind can only handle so much loss before he _loses it_ ," Lucifer caresses Sam's face and shivers from the mere gesture. He closed his eyes remembering all the hospital trips after he had suffered a mental breakdown.

"Voices? He's hearing voices?" The doctor questioned Dean that morning, Sam sat unmoving in a wheelchair while Castiel stood by unsure how he could help the younger Winchester. 

"No not _voices_ just one voice, _Lucifer_ , he can't sleep, eat or even function without a douchebag of a angel bothering him." Dean closed his mouth quickly as he watched the doctor's reaction. "Can you please just check him in, I'm afraid _he's going to hurt himself_."

The doctor had nodded eagerly, rolling Sam away from the emergency section towards the mental ward, Sam remembered each moment in agony.

He opened his eyes again the memory still fresh in his mind as he found the gun wasn't even heavy in his hands, Lucifer pressed his lips eagerly against Sam's own, he felt the tears pour out from his eyes as he pressed the gun against his head. 

"I love you Lucifer." Sam said before the world became a darken oblivion, Sam felt a stinging sensation like he was getting a flu shot as the gun fell from his fingertips colliding onto the floor, the bunker had an eerie sense to it with Sam's blood dropping forgotten upon the floor.

___

He was no longer in his body, he was _free_ with Lucifer, opening his eyes he was surprised to find himself outside of his old childhood home before it had burned to the ground, Lucifer was holding onto his hand for guidance.

Sam was afraid to let go, "where are we, are we in _heaven_?"

Lucifer tightened his grip, looking at the younger Winchester. "We are in your personal heaven everything you ever cared for is beyond that door." Lucifer pointed at the old house he watched a light flick on inside and wondered if his _family_ was inside.

"What about you?" 

Lucifer smiled revealing a grin, "who do you think invited you?" 

It hit Sam that Lucifer's intentions on harm had after all this time had been for to bring the Winchester home. He started up the stairs and knocked upon the door to see a blonde woman in her early thirties opening it, he could smell a grand meal inside.

"Sam? Come on we're waiting for you." The woman spoke softy before engulfing him in a hug, "mom is that you- how- did you." Sam stumbled only for Lucifer to catch him, "be careful Sam."

"Oh Sammy I'm so happy to see you're home _finally_. Dinner is getting cold." Mary Winchester pushed the door further open and Sam stepped inside knowing after Dean's many descriptions it was indeed his childhood home.

"It's going to be okay Sammy, it's you and I together now." Lucifer pressed a quick kiss against Sam's lips before entering the kitchen. 

Sam sat at the table watching Lucifer sit beside him, along with his mother he wondered where Adam and his father were, it didn't matter. What mattered was, he was finally _free_.

_The end_


End file.
